hi there again.

It was a pleasant surprise to find that there was confirmation for many people this week. I was intending to go for mass and that's about it. Maybe to really seek forgiveness for not going for mass a week ago. So I went all the way to the back row at the top floor, only to find that Andrew, Joel, Bryan and Gabby and co. seated in two rows in front of me. I tried to be focused on mass, but honestly I felt that many were staring at my direction. Until Andrew insisted that I get down. Still, the pressure was immense. The worse was that because I was so nervy, I did the things wrong, like not bowing before getting my seat.

But as I was saying, it was nice to find that many people are getting confirmed and Archbishop was there too...

ok, i'm stuck now. this post isn't supposed to sound as if things are going well and so on.

so, let's lay all the problems here.

I haven't chosen a confirmation name yet
I have no idea how to go to B pantai logically
The lexis problem
I'm trying hard to tune to the 5 to 10 life in the next few weeks. or maybe more.
I'm still not open to accept things that are happening now.
I need to control my actions from friday onwards.
I need to be a role-model, but which role model? That's the problem.
I haven't moved on from where I left.
I feel like I left God for a long time.
I wish to rest well to recharge myself, but time doesn't allow.
This war I'm going through isn't a game I want to play; all by myself

Ok, anyway, I learnt the art of counselling, and here are the four steps; Listen to story, find out what solutions so-and-so have tried, let the person have an aim to talk about it and explore the solutions with the person. The thing when it comes to counselling crucially depends on the client himself/ herself, and the client should do most of the talking. so rule number one, don't talk too much. As for rule number two, everyone may have different experiences, so don't jump to conclusion so early. And words like "I understand" is a huge no no.

OH btw, I think I pissed sam before dinner yesterday. again.

But as always, ian was real funny with all his gadgets, and the picture on his iphone. oh hahaha damn funny with that photoshop. haha! (:

And recently things have been going downhill for me. As usual, I'm insisting on not drinking anything related to coffee, except for the fact that I gulped bubble tea before night driving on friday, and maybe some drink at indochine after that. So now actually I'm feeling gloomy with the lack of energy. And that's why I was hoping shan wouldn't want to meet up. thankfully she didn't.

The worse is that I don't even know I pissed zy yesterday night when I hurried him to get his guys for today's duty with "wait. why are you rushing me" but hello?! i don't understand why someone at THAT level is so immature to ask this kind of question. I mean, please don't learn from the one who taught you... yes, and that's exactly what I was thinking then, but looking back I think it's the misunderstanding involved here.

Now, let's see, my doctor told me that he actually made a mistake when operating on my toe, and that he cut a lot lesser than he should. So, that kinda explains my pain when I wear my shoes. And my life sucks. fml.

Really I can't elaborate any further on how bad things are.

OH suddenly I remembered how I missed the chance to see gem twice. The first after my boss' invitation for dinner there, I didn't see, after which I zoomed out to celebrate shan's birthday. And then the second when I rejected my boss' invitation again. Oh wells.

New Perspective

I feel the salty waves come in
I feel them crash against my skin
And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win
There's a haze above my TV
That changes everything I see
And maybe if I continue watching
I'll lose the traits that worry me

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time
We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
and I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

More to the point, I need to show
How much I can come and go
Other plans fell through
And put a heavy load on you
I know there's no more that need be said
When I'm inching through your bed
Take a look around instead and watch me go

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
and I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

It's not fair, just let me perfect it
Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive
'cause seeing clear would be a bad idea
Now catch me up on getting out of here
So catch me up I'm getting out of here

I was trying to put the course ic's face that was so distinct with his "ngeh!" but that's as far as I can in this virtual world.

ANYWAY,

I just realised that this song is DAMN SCARY

It's I GOT U by Selena Gomez, but what the ..!.. ngeh! aiyo. damn scary.

I picked you out in a crowd
Of a thousand faces
Yeah, I found you, Ohhhh
I chose the whys and the whens
All around and places
Yeah, I choose you, Ohhhh

I let you see me
Let you believe it was your move
So smooth
My rules

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you
I got you
I got you

You'd be surprised, all the times
That I almost told you
But I stayed cool, Ohhhh
I almost broke but I
Knew I would get to hold you
Cause I'm no fool, Ohhhh

You came up to me
And did the very thing I knew
That you'd do
Ohohohohohhhh

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you

You gave me all control
(I got you)
I took your heart and soul
(I got you)
For me, I'm gonna roll
I got you, you, you

I got you
I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you
I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you

I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

And yes, you have a smiley face as shocked -.-''