dilemma tried to give me pressure by giving demeaning comments, but...

HELLO! THAT WAS USELESS. TRY HARDER FATASS.

it was such a surprise when I felt so untouched at all

I was trying to put the course ic's face that was so distinct with his "ngeh!" but that's as far as I can in this virtual world.

ANYWAY,

I just realised that this song is DAMN SCARY

It's I GOT U by Selena Gomez, but what the ..!.. ngeh! aiyo. damn scary.

I picked you out in a crowd
Of a thousand faces
Yeah, I found you, Ohhhh
I chose the whys and the whens
All around and places
Yeah, I choose you, Ohhhh

I let you see me
Let you believe it was your move
So smooth
My rules

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you
I got you
I got you

You'd be surprised, all the times
That I almost told you
But I stayed cool, Ohhhh
I almost broke but I
Knew I would get to hold you
Cause I'm no fool, Ohhhh

You came up to me
And did the very thing I knew
That you'd do
Ohohohohohhhh

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you

You gave me all control
(I got you)
I took your heart and soul
(I got you)
For me, I'm gonna roll
I got you, you, you

I got you
I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you
I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

Well you think you are the one
Who got me boy
But I got you
I've been playing with you
Like a little toy
Yeah, I got you

I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

I got you
And I love it
I got you
Yeah, I got you

And yes, you have a smiley face as shocked -.-''

hi there again.

It was a pleasant surprise to find that there was confirmation for many people this week. I was intending to go for mass and that's about it. Maybe to really seek forgiveness for not going for mass a week ago. So I went all the way to the back row at the top floor, only to find that Andrew, Joel, Bryan and Gabby and co. seated in two rows in front of me. I tried to be focused on mass, but honestly I felt that many were staring at my direction. Until Andrew insisted that I get down. Still, the pressure was immense. The worse was that because I was so nervy, I did the things wrong, like not bowing before getting my seat.

But as I was saying, it was nice to find that many people are getting confirmed and Archbishop was there too...

ok, i'm stuck now. this post isn't supposed to sound as if things are going well and so on.

so, let's lay all the problems here.

I haven't chosen a confirmation name yet
I have no idea how to go to B pantai logically
The lexis problem
I'm trying hard to tune to the 5 to 10 life in the next few weeks. or maybe more.
I'm still not open to accept things that are happening now.
I need to control my actions from friday onwards.
I need to be a role-model, but which role model? That's the problem.
I haven't moved on from where I left.
I feel like I left God for a long time.
I wish to rest well to recharge myself, but time doesn't allow.
This war I'm going through isn't a game I want to play; all by myself

Ok, anyway, I learnt the art of counselling, and here are the four steps; Listen to story, find out what solutions so-and-so have tried, let the person have an aim to talk about it and explore the solutions with the person. The thing when it comes to counselling crucially depends on the client himself/ herself, and the client should do most of the talking. so rule number one, don't talk too much. As for rule number two, everyone may have different experiences, so don't jump to conclusion so early. And words like "I understand" is a huge no no.

OH btw, I think I pissed sam before dinner yesterday. again.

But as always, ian was real funny with all his gadgets, and the picture on his iphone. oh hahaha damn funny with that photoshop. haha! (:

And recently things have been going downhill for me. As usual, I'm insisting on not drinking anything related to coffee, except for the fact that I gulped bubble tea before night driving on friday, and maybe some drink at indochine after that. So now actually I'm feeling gloomy with the lack of energy. And that's why I was hoping shan wouldn't want to meet up. thankfully she didn't.

The worse is that I don't even know I pissed zy yesterday night when I hurried him to get his guys for today's duty with "wait. why are you rushing me" but hello?! i don't understand why someone at THAT level is so immature to ask this kind of question. I mean, please don't learn from the one who taught you... yes, and that's exactly what I was thinking then, but looking back I think it's the misunderstanding involved here.

Now, let's see, my doctor told me that he actually made a mistake when operating on my toe, and that he cut a lot lesser than he should. So, that kinda explains my pain when I wear my shoes. And my life sucks. fml.

Really I can't elaborate any further on how bad things are.

OH suddenly I remembered how I missed the chance to see gem twice. The first after my boss' invitation for dinner there, I didn't see, after which I zoomed out to celebrate shan's birthday. And then the second when I rejected my boss' invitation again. Oh wells.

New Perspective

I feel the salty waves come in
I feel them crash against my skin
And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win
There's a haze above my TV
That changes everything I see
And maybe if I continue watching
I'll lose the traits that worry me

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time
We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
and I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

More to the point, I need to show
How much I can come and go
Other plans fell through
And put a heavy load on you
I know there's no more that need be said
When I'm inching through your bed
Take a look around instead and watch me go

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
and I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

It's not fair, just let me perfect it
Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive
'cause seeing clear would be a bad idea
Now catch me up on getting out of here
So catch me up I'm getting out of here

hey.

the week has been quite interesting.

on mon, i kinda realised i was messaging lexis at lunch to thank her for knowing some knowledge on her field of work the night earlier. she didn't exactly helped, but it certainly gave me more ground to believe one of my guys had been lying. i was wrong soon after, but that's not the point. the point is, i carried on messaging through lunch even though i was busy all the time. aiyo. i seriously think there's smth wrong.

tues, the jumps they made us perform were fun, but tiring. we're supposed to be doing normal physical exercise and adventurous ones. it turned out that we had to lift another person and do squats, jump for twenty metres continuously and run. lots of run. and when i going down the stairs i felt wobbly, that's how grreat things were.

on wed, there's only one thing i could say. on the first try, i had the same number of misses as the second try. i mean, i know very well that i missed four on both occasions, but the first time it was recorded i missed 6 the second i missed four, but the one that makes the mark and does justice to taxpayers is to hit 5! so in a way, i wasted my parents money. sadly ): apparently the system played me out.

thursday. the only highlight was the mini surgery. i kept confusing myself, then others, when i mixed surgery with operation. oh dear. but the most painful part was the needle. when i told how the doctor did it, it sounded extremely pain. but i was really thankful this happened. imagine the ten months - TEN FULL MONTHS (and more...) - of pain, uneven walking, panadol pumping, lots of endurance, telling myself n others "it's ok" when it's swollen; this little surgery would be the first thing to end all these. and i'm very thankful for all these.

oh. friday, isaac decided to call for an ad-hoc movie outing. i was late, AGAIN. but anw. the show was ninja assassin. sometimes you won't believe it but actually that morning i happened to see the trailer of the movie on mtv. so it felt like it was destined for me to watch it. but that's not really the point here. the point is that the show is quite interesting when there was quite a build up that makes you want more to every heart-beating moment. and it was very scary to find that the lead character (rain) actually trained EIGHT months with only vegetables and a bit of protein throughout. i was thinking, he really has no life, but if that's what he wanted, good for him! (: deff i won't want to do that!

saturday, i met up with short name (i'll call him shorts) and squirrel hair (she had a squirrel hair then, so i'll call her squirrel) for lunch, and that's when i realised that rciy has a lot of spykids around! aiyo. just when i thought that everyone there is very lovely and pure and goes for sessions for the sake of learning, i was a little wrong. in fact i found it so funny when shorts said there're a lot of CSIs around, with that tone. hahaha! (:

anw i'm still lost in the sequence of how things happened. (next post!)

and last thing please pray for ppl who have been caught for not knowing what happened. it's quite sad to find that people are being led astray. and it shocked me greatly. as i was desperately trying to find solutions to console myself that everything will be okay, questions have been formulating. Why this happened? Could they have done something else? What if it ruins your career? Didn't you say you wanted to find a proper job?.... and then of course there were the just-for-fun types of things like How come i don't know that this is a hot spot to catch? Can i go and see next time? anw. crap aside. hope (t)he(y) can discern it next time.

i kinda realised that everyone around me are progressing; shorts n squirrel have had their past, many have started on a new stage in life - proper or otherwise - and me? still staying at where i was. hmm. how interesting.

guess what can a person on a monday morning who slept on the couch from 3 to 5 and 5 to 8.49 do, only to be awaken by a phone call? definitely, this feeling sucks a lot.

All About You by Kaci Brown

Keys in my hand
The car's parked outside
This has turned into one hell of a night
I can't believe that after all the things that we've been through
You try to blame me for all the things I didn't do
All the things I didn't do

Last time you promised
That you would change
Give me everything you had to give and now you can't
I'm going for a drive
Gonna be just fine
I don't know why you care anyway

When it's all about you
I'm always wrong
Forget what I said
Don't you get that I'm gone
Now you're alone
I like it like that
Know what you want and I don't want you back
It's all about you
It's all I could take
And I hope that you're happy this way
It's all about you

This simple life and empty home
No need to fight it, I can make it on my own
No more all night fighting
No more falling tears
No more late night crying
Wishing you were here
Call me everyday
With nothing new to say
Don't know why you care anyway

When it's all about you
I'm always wrong
Forget what I said
Don't you get that I'm gone
Now you're alone
I like it like that
Know what you want and I don't want you back
It's all about you
It's all I could take
And I hope that you're happy this way
It's all about you

Never cared about anybody but you babe
Thought I'd never fall in love again and feel this way
So never say how you're still
Breaking my heart
'Cuz it's all about you
Yeah, yeah
(All about you)
(All about you)

When it's all about you
I'm always wrong
Forget what I said
Don't you get that I'm gone
Now you're alone
I like it like that
Know what you want and I don't want you back
It's all about you
It's all I could take
And I hope that you're happy this way
It's all about you

When it's all about you
I'm always wrong (I'm gone)
Forget what I said (I'm gone)
Don't you get that I'm gone (I said I'm gone)
Now you're alone (I'm gone)
I like it like that
Know what you want and I don't want you back
It's all about you
It's all I could take
And I hope that you're happy this way
It's all about you
I'm gone,
I'm gone,
I said, I'm gone
I'm gone

i've not been rich enough to get hold of any accessories, probably that's why gems' brightness are fading away.

hi. i don't know how this lj is being an lj. really. i just can't type in the rich text.

but anw. this week has been eventful but kinda sinful.

monday, i ps-ed the guys after a long long hours of work the night before for dinner at old cck with cq and jeremy while zy was doing his shift.

tuesday, i was risking my life for riding in cq's vehicle to aston's at sembawang. well of course, it wasn't meant to be remembered for it'd threaten my life, but during that ride it taught me well... a lot.

so, i realised that i was smiling a lot during the ride for the excitement of leaning left or right when making a turn; last time when i was riding bicycle there was no leaning! and also, i came to realise that cq actually had a rough time riding last time. and it's not easy to imagine how reckless he was when he kept to the centre of the lane almost all the time.

wednesday, i broke down for my supposedly-more-mature roomie was being childish. it was more of disappointment than anything else. but straight after that, i went for house interview. the guy wasn't there, but his dad talked about his life apart from his son's, and a little more on speaking in tongues that made my boss and i quiet for a while. the most interesting part is, my boss usually talks a lot!

thursday, i was planning to sneak out for the chill-out session with fr timothy radcliffe, but it turned out that there was no dinner for us so we gotta get it ourselves. perfect excuse to get out, i thought. and so i sped off to flyer. the thing was interesting, cos i learnt a little from it. here are some of the modified points i took down.

* touch is not contact
* private relationship with Jesus makes no sense
* unity versus denominations of Christianity. hmm.
* honour your parents by caring your own bodies
* rules are about sharing love
* homo ppl are what nature brings them
* capitalist markets can build community in a way, but it doesn't build it primarily since there'd be inequality
* grab the moment rather than be alone and locked in ourselves
* gossip is like spreading ashes in the wind
* what is resurrected cannot be defeated.

i felt so great after hearing fr speak. those words were really the out of the box kind when i could never imagine how people can deliver with such passion and love for those around. i felt a whole new person altogether.

friday was the day i opened my presents. G.E.M. CD WAS INSIDE! (:

saturday, it was nice to see so many people back at rciy, but actually i felt bad not to join the rest with post-session outings. anw. it was about the holy orders, holy matrimony and anointing of the sick after praise and worship. and the warm fuzzy samantha gave, i was really happy about it (: "Selena Gomez <3s you" ahhhh!!! haha (:

today, i was fortunate enough to have the instructor teaching me more things so i can finish the syllabus early. just short of the stamp only, but the ticks were there! (: gonna pass soon! (:

but one problem. cluck has still been filling in the moments, even at the wrong times. i'm in trouble. really.

i missed out one thing. i watched wizards using vincent's player on thursday night - friday morning at 1 am. and i'm soooooo happy while watching that cq stared (: haha

Terence Lo yes (: I learnt this today. stop sitting on the fence and use the word "but" (:

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that today is a big day for you. Yes, today. Keep your eyes open for a message. It might come in a shape of a bird flying overhead, or a graffiti on a wall, or a phrase said by a passerby, or... Whatever shape it has, this message has been trying to reach you for years, and today is finally the day. Keep your senses open.
Yesterday at 9:24pm via God wants You to Know · Comment · Like · See your Message from God

 I saw it coming, I knew something like that was going to happen, but I just didn't know when.

So, earlier this week I had a mail from selle on fb, and happened read what mitch wrote to me. Which made me think of this word. Every moment I was about to type any sms or anything online, I was very tempted to put it down somewhere. But I just couldn't do it. Even yesterday's session, I was trying my very best to avoid that word. I couldn't, all the more when adrian was prompting us to name the Sacrament, Ian's answer told me there was no way I could run away with that.

anw. it's reconciliation this week. nothing more to say; except for the fact that i did what i could this weekend.

 SO it was another week passed of my life.

Haha this sounds like nothing feels right here, well that's right! It's all because of my decision to recuperate from my addiction in caff. And what a new start to my first week at 19.

First blow came from a colleague who didn't let me explain why i put his duty on a bad day, and here's how it went. My senior influenced a little thing to put him on a weekend, and at first I thought, alright, perhaps I can handle myself. So I tried to smoke him by saying, "hey, come on, it's your last, take it in, besides, you can't do guard ones, so why not do something that's got to do with the office?" I somehow remembered he had this medical situation that couldn't allow him to do anything more than office work, and I knew he'd love to hear that, since I'm pretty sure that no one else would even bother to know anything about him within that building. And back to what happened, in came the reply, "eh but my points highest!" "Alright, you see..." I could no longer carry on talking when he shot out his middle finger sideways, acting like he was cool with that face that instigates me to let loose a punch or maybe tone my voice a little lower. My heart was pounding hard, pounding so hard with anger, but all of those were kept inside given the fact that there were many subordinates in the office then and it wouldn't be nice to lose control. But thank goodness I realised that I wasn't feeling right, and I felt bad for having evil intentions that I was right to put him there since he was bad, or that I even exposed him on fb that he was crying and emo-ing in the toilet one night. aiyo.

Oh, before I forget, these two weeks' mass was quite enlightening. Ok, because last week's newspaper came that Brother Paul was one of the two last persons of religious orders to be principal in Singapore, and so at mass Fr Andrew was telling us in a fierce tone that we should go out there to spread the Word. Then this week was about us stop idolising or looking for other things to worship. I'm not trying to be an extremist here, but the line I particularly liked was something like turn to your master. It suddenly made me feel like a slave to everything, especially after watching Another Cinderella Story.

So, that movie was so nice! Oh goodness, the first dance lesson scene just melted me down. SELENA GOMEZ!!!!! (:

Anyway, after hearing Shan's story about last night's supper, I was very scared this morning when what she said sounded like deja-vu. Last night in my dreams, I was somehow claiming Cluck as my gf. It was super scary cos I had no idea what that meant and I know it isn't true. But it was just like that. I'm still trying to rationalise that it was cos of the situation when didi, joel, shan, deb chiu and i were there and joel joked about shan plus I (which is never true) and the tired side of joel confessing by the end of the night. Oh btw, I was hoping gem might turn up too, oh wells. Perhaps a part of me knew I was going to visit Cluck after driving, and... yadayada. eww. gross. the worse was that I was feeling very very awkward when I was going to say hi today and we were talking (casually) but unusually close. like fifteen cm away when the place there wasn't that crowded at all. ok. maybe things will get better soon. oh dear. still, gems above all. (:

And the aftermath of the previous typed post, I witnessed two guys on the same bed, the single-sized bed. Oh God, what's happening?

Oh. I managed to overcome the part when mehtiew (haha still like his name) was trying to tell me not to go mass. haha I'm strong (:

And I'm going through operation next week, bytheway.

Smiles! (:

 Hey.

I've offended many people, especially the times when I couldn't take the part when the indian chief wasn't working up to standard and I stepped in. I know that at times I got over that line and looking back, I hate that. Hope I'll change in future.

Suddenly it has come to my realisation that people are going to come and go, and that the path is more or less uncertain ahead of me. It wouldn't have been the case if no one suggested being a sponsor next year. By twelve months later, this new made friend will be gone, and probably no longer be able to be a sponsor. Sounds sad huh?

Another interesting fact today was that sometimes things can be amazing when the sequence of events can change mood completely. Originally JoelT and I was like, let's go to **** together! But one thing was blurry; other than camman, we had no idea whom we'd be with. Then as we met at the bus stop, I thought, hmm so... we're going to ****... huh? you serious? haha ok -.-''' let's see how things go! And guess what, I thought all *** of us got along quite well, so things weren't as bad as I guessed after all! (:

Now my stomach feels crappy for taking all sorts of chili from the noodles, sour orange juice at QUALITY HOTEL, more pepper at bkt near balestier, skipping meals here and there.

SO, for the previous post,

I was extremely happy about the free bowl of noodles when I managed to sneak out from my residence to some forbidden place far far away. Seriously, it was awesome and my mirror image gotta agree with me (:

The next thing was that I kinda figured out that I spent 25 bucks on one Friday morning trying to give my guys breakfast while they were doing manual labour. While others would think that it isn't that wise when you don't have much more to spare, I felt I was doing the right thing - but not as how my parents were feeling, which was to win their hearts to work for you - instead, I preferred the notion that I thought that they deserved something for making my life easier. yeah. so how the supposedly juicy story can turn stale after one week.

Also, there was a session when we were drinking. In fact I wasn't supposed to be there when I was about to look for gem and co after dinner. It ended up JoelK drilling questions into my eardrums and dragging me away too. Thankfully it was the other way round and although he said something like, hmm not bad there were still some small talk, I felt things didn't really turn well. So, anyway, the main focus wasn't here. It was intended to say how Samantha described me during rciy, and that how I retaliated by saying how much she was like terrie, together with the nasty things that followed.

And I lost my voice after outfield; before that, I could sing as I wanted, but last week it was bad when I my vocal cords seemed to have snapped on friday. Thank God I was still able to sing co's song at D&D yesterday.

Oh oh! Cecilia was soooo nice to have helped me at singtel. I felt particularly bad to cut queue, but the brochure she gave was really good (:

Another thing was that our enemy plan against jiggly was flawed, when we had no idea when we were overrun, and we got trapped as we advanced.

I reached gear four in that course of 100 mins of driving that day! It wasn't that smooth though...

One last thing, I gotta kill one to save the other; elephant for gem. And this kill must be thorough, swift and decisive.

Cheers! (:

 free noodles

The start of the week was horrible.

First, it was all about hearing and understanding how the human world functions. Then I started to think, what a cruel world. There you are, discussing the downfall of someone and here I am, joining the rest. It's just not right.

It might not have affected me in whatever decision made, it's just nutcase. But hey, why even torture yourself if you try to wish for a 'yes' when 'no' has been said before? You might think that this person is easy to push around; which is true, but listen up. People grow (I just thought of the hairspray song "momma I'm a big girl now"), and it's time to take kids' minds seriously. No more influencing, no more brainwashing, no more trashing what they say, be open and invest more time and guts to them. Lower your status to tune to their frequency and you'll find yourself on better terms with kids.

Hey! i find myself more like a primary school teacher from the prev para. haha (:

So, the next thing was another troublesome thing.

I knew it was Gz's birthday on tuesday but i forgot to message him in the morning, so i thought of this wonderful plan to call him as a group with the six of us in the evening to make things less awkward. And so we called, using potato's phone (Thank God he had his number!). p was talking through and the funny part here was that we started singing the birthday song as loud as we could; just jared, p and i. wondered where the rest went. anyway, it wasn't that nice to find out that he wasn't with the rest for some reason. And I felt so sorry after that, reflecting how the mood changes completely.

The last of the week was somewhat similar to the second to one of my guys, and honestly I was caught in between the feeling of being compassionate and firm and neutral. I opted the first spontaneously, which shouldn't be the case. In fact I should have asked from a neutral point of view clearly so things can be done smoothly and responsibly. But I didn't. But that's not really my main concern. I was obsessed with the fact that so many had occurred this week compared to the three things that happened in the whole feb month and I was thinking, why give me all these real-life scenarios when the fictional world has shown me the downside of life?

Oh wells

Yesterday, for the first time in my whole life, I really felt like I could die any time. That moment, when all the drugs have been used up and my body felt like everything had been drained out, was the scariest part and the most exciting. I was sleep walking, crossing two-lane roads twice when cars were around. Practically, my eyes didn't open, until my conscience told me that I shouldn't die so early, and when I did, the first thing I saw was the low-beam of light by cars.

It saddens me to watch more of sad music videos when I happened to catch Thinking Of You by Katy Perry and Mad by Ne-Yo (I just thought of how weihan said how this name should be pronounced. haha!). All sad videos, hope that concludes my week.

Oh yes. I just remembered joel asked us to go for a 'chill out' thing like how the brochure described. Please, help me to focus on the topic if the place is really there and oh my! How I loved it then! (:

 Hey.

I kinda like the idea of lj here compared to blogger when the columns above seem more like microsoft word and user-friendly.

So, Fr was saying about the notion of getting the best of both ends (I was hoping it would be "worlds" instead). At first he was talking something about his seminar when he heard a new research occurred and wanted to share the findings with us. We're more or less bounded by two different kinds of energy. I forgot the cheem words he used, but the gist was that we have the child energy and the adult energy. Truly, the whole point was quite draggy, but it was good enough to get me thinking.

I was thinking, adult energy shows responsibility and yadayada while child energy displays innocence and the will to let go. Well of course some bad things follow too, but I kept telling myself I want to be like a child, as what Fr said. In fact, I never wanted to grow up. But here I am, trying to be a "leader" at work while the servant leader mindset stayed in me throughout. Oh goodness, help me.

One funny line I heard yesterday when I went for Gabby's-kinda-failed-birthday-surprise-party-@-some-ulu-place. But that's not the point. It was quite fun and nice to see the people there again, but the highlight was actually this line. Oh by the way, Gabby's called Debbie was very scared of lizards and someone said this to her, after she said facts about them like their ability to swim,
"Why even bother finding out about lizards?"
"... because I need to know what my enemies are doing!"

On this day called the Tuesday and also the day when I officially did something really big and problematic at the gate, I learnt that talking too casually isn't really a good idea. So, I was talking to this person T
T - SO you from cj right? do you know a person called *** ****?
Me - (thinking... i know her, i used to label her potato when i first talked to her!) is it my level? or yours? (it'd be soo weird to know someone not from your level!)
T - oh yes! your level one. are there many more around? *** *** ****? any idea?
Me - OH! yes i know her
T - oh how come you know her?
Me - She's from my cca
T - you what cca?
Me - drama.
T - oh...
(Silence for a few minutes)
Me - (got the feeling of not losing out in this convo; he knew a lot from my side) so... how you know her?
T - she's my ex.
Me - oops (eyes looking around)
Honestly, it was a bad idea.

Things i learnt this week. "vivacious" meaning lively and animated. It's quite disgusting when an old man like 50+ used this on a 30+ plus nearing 40 woman, pure example of failed flirting.

Question of the week, what if you're 40 and married and a girl aged 21 says she likes you, provided you're well to do but not particularly rich?

And lastly, the unanswered point of the week. still thinking too much about jimmy. perhaps i need to tell myself, everything's gonna be fine (:

since elephants were history, gems are probably your best bet

 hey.

i'm starting to confuse myself with the many many complications i had with blogger. a while ago i thought of having coded posts and cool backdrop was so amazing. but honestly things are getting a little boring. perhaps a slight change would be better. so here i am! trying smth new (:

ohoh! i'm having a very hard time trying to digest wizards slowly. only two weeks gone and i'm 20 percent into the whole series. it's saddening! i don't want it to end!!! ):

and i learnt this from mich,
Cheers

HI. it's the first time i post something so long after creating this. and this is crazy! wasting time in the middle of nowhere! haha. anyway, life should just be as nice as paradise. some dumb quote of the day thing. :) haha!